How to Overcome Fear of Failure

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How to overcome the fear of failure

Failure is something that happens to all of us sooner or later, the only difference is how we cope with this failure. Most of this coping happens not after the failure occurred but before it ever started!

Your mindset is what will make the difference between you ever even being afraid of failure!

To understand how to overcome the fear of failure we must first understand where it really comes from. By explaining that you will already see how to overcome it quite easily.

Your fear of failure comes from the consequences failure holds in your mind.

When you fail, what will really happen? The assumption is that when we fail at our jobs, fail in our marriage or fail at life in general we become extremely unhappy, our lives are over and nothing is going to go well anymore. Which is not all wrong… but mostly.

Of course you will be less happy when such big sources of happiness as your marriage and job go away. You will have to change a lot about your life and the time will not be easy; that part is true. But does that mean that your life is over? That you can never be happy again? Or that you have no positive outlook anymore?


Ask yourself what will really happen when you fail. Don’t just stop at the first thought, but instead paint yourself a very detailed picture! Make this a very analytical and emotionless process and you will realize that most of your fear comes from your emotions rather than any logical reasoning.

Let’s take the example that your marriage ends in a catastrophic fight and you end up hating one another. Ignoring the emotions for now, what are the actual facts of what will happen?

You will split your finances and house. At worst causing you to either reduce your standard of living or to make more money, both of which are in your control.
You will have to get used to living along. Something that only takes time and doesn’t make you any less valuable.
You will have to find love again. If you do not love yourself enough then you need to find another source of love and support. This will also require some work but it is nothing that is out of your control.
So… in the end it is all something that is in your control to change. The worst thing that can happen is that you are not quite as happy as you were which you can still change whenever you chose!

But when your emotions come in you overdramatise every little detail.

The same thing happens with every fear of failure. In the end, if you really map it out, it is not NEARLY as bad as you think it might be. That being said, just for the sake of looking at it, let us take a gander at what the absolute worst outcome would be.

Your partner takes all your finances leaving you broke on the street.
Your children start hating you and never speak to you again.
You will never find true love again.
You are so depressed every day is a struggle to get up.
Now… look at that and tell me if you can figure out how to get out of each of these slumps. Can you find a way to solve each of these dilemmas? Or if I was having these problems, what would you advise me to do?

Just the fact that you have some idea how to get out of THE WORST POSSIBLE consequences means that anything less bad than this is going to be a breeze!

Lastly, just realize that given the fact that you have no idea what will happen you have a 50/50 chance of something good or bad to happen.

The graph looks something like this with an equal amount of possible amazing events and an equal amount of possible negative events. The worst possible event is just as likely to occur as the best possible event.

Your thinking is so skewed that you think “Failure” means you will end up on the negative end of this spectrum. You are only seeing half the picture!

The last thing I want to mention is that you have no idea what the consequences may be. You can look at it, guesstimate and hope it will turn out better than you think, but in the end it will probably be something completely different anyway.

So let me ask you a question to end on:

If you have no idea what will happen… Why do you chose to believe that something negative will happen?